Choosing a path in life
This evening I had a discussion with my mother concerning the path of my life after university.
I always wanted to travel abroad, to Australia or lately Canada, for a longer time. But I was always too lazy to get all of it organized for studying for some time in a foreign country. The last plans thus were to go to Canada immediately after leaving university, getting a small beginner IT job there, getting some first-hand overseas experience. Of course, my parents were always eager to support me in that decision. Money, language, possibilities - there’d be no problems.
But my life has changed now. I’m in my first extensive relationship with a signficant other; Not that one could generally call two months “extensive”, but in my case this timespan is already something very special.
Now before anyone is already typing up a comment to the likes of “Stop throwing away your life for a girl!”, nothing has been decided. And I won’t decide anything now. I’m only thinking “aloud”. I’ll end my university career in mid-2008, so there’s plenty of time.
My current opinion is that a healthy social/emotional life is much more important than a stellar career. Not that I’d settle for a low-wager braindead programming job somewhere, but I really don’t need to be CEO of the next Microsoft to be happy.
Ever since I was 18/19/20 (yes, late start), one of my biggest wishes was a girl that loved me. But it just never happened. I couldn’t seem to find anyone who’d like me. It all pinnacled in My Worst Year 2006, when a date dumped me from such a high place, it looked like I might never recover. It was a year of endless tears, a big depression, partial aimlessness, hopelessness. (Some might recall that it was also the year that I met one of my best friends of today - and he really has a part in this year being immensely better, but this wasn’t so clear back last year.)
So where am I today? I have a girlfriend that loves me, and I love her. I’ve got wonderful friends, and even though the workload is increasing, I really like university at the moment. I’m in a time of perfect harmony, one of the highest peaks of positive mood for a really long time. Should I throw all of this emotional balance and happiness away for an increase in salary because I’ll have “overseas experience”?
Sure, going abroad for work has many possibilities and advantages. Meeting new people, exchanging ideas, getting more experience in life itself. I can’t deny it and I won’t, that it’s probably an adventure that you can’t put a price tag on (speaking ideally).
But does that path close just because I’m not taking it immediately next year? I have all my life getting experience in foreign countries. Maybe I’m a bit overhyped on positive emotions currently, but lately I’ve had the impression that I can reach maybe not everything, but really much, being what personal history has made me. This might sound like ridiculous self-praise to you, but I know success as well as failure: I know what I can achieve with my knowledge and my ideas, and it’s quite much. Why the hell shouldn’t it be possible to switch to the left-behind path some time later? Who is the judge that says I’ll need my work life to start in Canada to be more successful later in IT?
Again, I won’t deny that going abroad is helpful and will indeed be looked positively upon by “Human Resource Managers” later in my life. But I just don’t think that the price I’ll have to pay for this salary (and workload/responsibility) increase, namely being lonely again - but not only without girlfriend, even without friends - is something I would want to pay right now.
But who’s talking about “right now” anyway? There is about one year ahead of me that will bring the clarity I need to decide it. If optimism has its way, and I’m still (or again) in such a positive mood, with enough money, time, friends and a significant other (hopefully the current one ;)), I doubt the decision will be in favor of leaving all that behind.
Time will tell.
